Expectations for Women from "The Frugal Housewife"

The Woman of the Early Nineteenth Century
The "Frugal Housewife”"Man is daring and confident, woman is diffident and unassuming; man is great in action, woman in suffering; man shines abroad, woman at home; man talks to convince, woman to persuade and please; man has a rugged heart, woman a soft and tender one; man prevents misery, woman relieves it; man has science, woman taste; man has judgment, woman sensibility; man is a being of justice, woman of mercy."
Perceptions of Women in the 19th CenturyDuring the early 1800s, people generally believed that there was a definite difference in character between the sexes -- man was active, dominant, assertive, and materialistic, while woman was religious, modest, passive, submissive, and domestic. As a result, there developed an ideal of womanhood, or a "cult of true womanhood" as denoted by historian Barbara Welter. This cult, evident in women's magazines and religious literature of the day, espoused four basic attributes of female character: piety, purity, submissiveness, domesticity.
1) Religion/Piety was the "core of woman's virtue, the source of her strength" Women were expected to be the "handmaids of the Gospel," serving as a purifying force in the lives of erring men. Women naturally possessed virtues of faith, simplicity, goodness, self-sacrifice, tenderness, affection, sentimentality, and modesty.
2) Purity was an essential characteristic to maintain one's virtue against the continuous "assault" of the more aggressive male. To protect one's self, Mrs. Eliza Farrar recommended in The Young Lady's Friend (1837): Sit not with another in a place that is too narrow; read not out of the same book; let not your eagerness to see anything induce you to place your head close to another person's."
Eliza Farnham stressed the importance of preserving one's innocence and demonstrating female moral superiority, concluding that "the purity of women is the everlasting barrier against which the tides of man's sensual nature surge" (Welter, 24-25).
3) Submissiveness required women to accept their positions in life willingly and obediently, thereby affirming God had appointed them to that special position. Godey's Lady's Book of 1831 emphasized this attribute: The lesson of submission is forced upon woman...To suffer and to be silent under suffering seems the great command she has to obey. (Welter, 30)
Likewise, Samuel Jennings advocated complete submission in The Married Lady's Companion (New York, 1808): [Marriage rests on a] condition of a loving and cheerful submission on the part of the wife. Here again you object and say, "Why not the husband, first show a little condescension as well as the wife?" I answer for these plain reasons. It is not his disposition; it is not the custom but with the henpecked; it is not his duty; it is not implied in the marriage contract; it is not required by law or gospel...when you became a wife, he became your head, and your supposed superiority was buried in that voluntary act.
4) Domesticity, or the cheerful performance of social, household, and family duties, was highly prized by women’s magazines of the day. Women were expected to comfort and cheer, to nurse and support, to manage and oversee. Housework was to be viewed as a morally uplifting mental and physical exercise. Marriage was the proper sphere for women where, according to Rev. Samuel Miller (1808), she could fulfill her divinely ordained mission: “How interesting and important are the duties devolved on females as WIVES....the counselor and friend of the husband; who makes it her daily study to lighten his cares, to soothe his sorrows, and augment his joys; who, like a guardian angel, watches over his interests, warns him against dangers, comforts him under trials; and by her pious, assiduous, and attractive deportment, constantly endeavors to render him more virtuous, more useful, more honorable, and more happy” (Welter, 37-38).
Thus, popular women's literature perpetuated an image of the "perfect woman" -- the loving wife, the caring mother, the responsible housekeeper. While social reform movements, industrialization, migration, and other social forces instilled changes which eventually affected the status of women, the "true" woman was that female at home, "the Valiant Woman of the Bible, in whom the heart of her husband rejoiced and whose price was above rubies" (Welter, 41).
Education of WomenAnti-intellectualism was implicit in the "cult of true womanhood." Women were not expected to use logic or reason, only to exhibit morality and domesticity. Consequently, female education was designed to maintain the dichotomy of spheres -- schools prepared men for careers and trained them to think, whereas women learned to be worthy companions for their husbands, good managers of their households, and virtuous examples for their children. Regarding the place of female education, the Western Patriot of Canton (Ohio) Almanac of 1842 noted: The destiny of women is obviously, to become at some time spouse & mother of a family, & as such her sphere of action is the domestic fire-side. In order therefore to become a good wife & mother of a family & to act usefully & blessingly within the circle of her family -- she must possess all those attributes such as knowledge & habits, which are required of a good housewife & mother of a family. If a woman was displeased and unhappy with her status, it was her fault for failing to strive for her fulfillment which was inherent in her nature and in her domestic environment.